I hate all girls vehemently.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
