Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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