well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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