I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
