She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
My underwear smells like fireworks.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
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