Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
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Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
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Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize