whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize
