hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
