I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize