like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I could have mohawked her pubes.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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