3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
