You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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