Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
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