The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Randomize
