You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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