Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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