She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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