If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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