What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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