I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
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