I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Randomize
