this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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