she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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