He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
