He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
