I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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