Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Randomize
