And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Randomize
