dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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