why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I'm sobbing to NWA
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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