STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
