Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Randomize
