I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize