i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize