Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(256): View more from Alabama

There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?

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(973): View more from New Jersey

we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.

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These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women
Read it at the TFLN blog
(705): View more from Ontario

I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.

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(708): View more from Illinois

That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!

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(760): View more from California

Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes

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(734): View more from Michigan

Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.

(1-734): View more from Michigan

Sadly that explains a lot.

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(386): View more from Florida

It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.

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