No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Randomize
