Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE