she was so not down for the gang bang
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Randomize
