I smell stomach acid.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
These 25 Teachers Said Horrible Things to Their Students
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.