There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
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I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
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He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.