Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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