I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
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