i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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