The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
cat food counts as protein by the way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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