Your tits are I can't wait for
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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