Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
