he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize