sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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