this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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