What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
