We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
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