Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
