Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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