Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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