he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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