i always forget guys have bellybuttons
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.