then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"