Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize