My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize