I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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