Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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