I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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